There was the Queen, and the excellent tips from the author of "Dilbert" on etiquette for her visit.

There was Larry Birkhead, the world's next Kato Kalin, returning to his home state (always nice when local boys make it big... because of their sperm count).

And there was Kevin Federline who, according to the New York Post , turned his nose up at his VIP table, noting "Yo, I need a bigger table - I got six (women) with me." K-Fed also apparently snatched the mike from Kid Rock at some point and gave "shout-outs" to hot ladies in the crowd, screaming, "I got four kids already - which one of you Kentucky girls wants to have a fifth." He had no takers. How odd! Jen? Weren't you there?

Why didn't someone stick ole'K-Fed in the in-field where he belonged? Please tell me he and Larry were kept away from the Queen...

There are some things I really hope Afghans never see about my culture...

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