Right here, right now

I was lamenting last night to my husband how many of my friends are “stuck” in the past. They are deep in mourning the past – they still deeply miss high school (?!?!), they actively mourn friendships that long ago ended, romances that ended, careers that are no more. And they are so depressed and consumed by it, it can be hard to have a conversation. 

I got stuck for years fighting against the end of my career. It still burns. I still talk about it. But it’s not the only thing I talk about or think about. It was for about two years solid. It’s not now. 

I think ONLY looking back, pining for years for something that’s over and loooooong gone, is unhealthy and keeps us from being happy. I’m not saying don’t miss the past, but don’t miss it more than you are here, right NOW. 

I had brought this up because I really hurt to see so many people I care about in pain. And I said that I have a friend who is always doing something – learning something new, going somewhere new, trying something new – and I think it keeps her happy. And she doesn’t care what anyone thinks. And it’s what I aspire to. Her life isn’t perfect. She has ups and downs. But she also is still living life, still curious, still exploring. 

That was last night.