I never thought I would say this, as I have always found so much joy and value and purpose and inspiration in working, as it’s been my source of identity since my first professional newspaper job when I was 16. But I do not want to work anymore. I just want to play my instruments, watch movies, ride my motorcycle, go camping, and travel. No deadlines, no spreadsheets, no HTML, no strategies, no policy research, no office politics, no negotiating, no office egos. Anyway, here’s a view while I was watering tomatoes a few nights ago.
It’s not that I don’t think I can keep up with younger employees – I can. Or that I don’t think that I still know so much more than a lot of the people I work with – I do. I have a ton more to offer in the work place. A TON.
But I just don’t feel like navigating, negotiating or fighting anymore. Not at work. I want more space in my brain and my heart for other things.
No one warns you to plan for your life between 50 and 65 or 70. No one says, “You might not be working in those years where you think you will be, or should be, with all that wisdom and knowledge. And your passion for and inspiration from work that you fed off of in your 30s may fizzle out in that time. You will probably still have to work, but think now about what you might pivot into later that is busy work, that isn’t as emotionally draining as a career.”
Of course, I don’t have much of an idea what busy work that isn’t emotionally draining would be at this point. I looked around for a bed and breakfast in the area, thinking they might need a part-time day time receptionist/manager. But there isn’t a bed and breakfast anywhere that I can find. And that was the case for this area even before Air B & B.
And it’s particularly annoying as in one of my workplaces, someone I know that’s making triple digits talks about how he could be making SO much more money elsewhere and how working at this nonprofit is such a step down from his usual work. And all I can think is that one year of a six digit salary and I might be able to stop working now instead of waiting until I’m 68.
Anyway, the featured photo is the sky I saw while watering my garden earlier this week.
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