If you are over 45 and have a job you like, or that sustains you financially, cherish it. Cherish that great situation. Be thankful that chance has worked out for you.
Yes, of course, you are where you professionally in part – and probably in large part – because of your hard work and talent.
But you are also there because of chance. Because of happenstance.
If you are in your 20s or 30s, think NOW about what you want to be doing professionally or personally in your 50s, and think about what you need to be doing to ensure that happens. Don’t assume that just working hard and accomplishing things now will get you there. Don’t assume your professional accomplishments will matter even five years after the fact. Don’t assume you get to continue to do what you do, professionally, right through to your retirement. And if you are a woman – whew, good luck in particular.
I miss working regularly, at least a few times a week, beyond anything I can put into words. I miss the daily and weekly challenges, the accomplishments, the clients/customers, the camaraderie, the mental exercise of it all… I miss having an idea and creating a strategy around it and seeing what happens as a result. I miss reporting on what’s happening. And I miss all the continuous learning of new things.
I never dreamed I wouldn’t have a job for most of my 40s and 50s. I never planned for that. My thinking: of course I will always have a job as long as I want one. I work so hard! And I’m so good at my work! And I’ve accomplished so much!
Sigh.
A few years ago, I finally got to realize my dream of designing and teaching a full university course. I poured everything into it. It was somewhat tech-focused, so I got myself up to speed on several online tools that I was not familiar with, but that, according to media reports, young people preferred and were using in huge numbers. I spent far more hours than I was paid, reading and researching how to use these tools and how to apply them to the work these students were studying. The students were all grad students, most under 40, so I was terrified that I would start teaching and they would think, geesh, I already know this, grandma.
And… after the very first week of class, I had to go back and dumb down my class materials. I was stunned at the students’ lack of experience at what I thought were everyday we-all-use-these computer tools, let alone the advanced stuff. I was so beyond the students in terms of what I knew, much to my shock. Which, yes, is why I was teaching the class, but when you are bombarded with the message, “Young people are digital natives and love and use the very latest tech,” it’s a shock to find out that, no, they don’t. In fact, digital natives, in my experience, are some of the most unimaginative people I’ve ever encountered, and their lack of curiosity, their lack of a desire to experiment or stick with a new activity long enough to learn it, is an impediment on their work abilities and social skills.
And this was all before AI!
I have never thought of someone under 75 as “old.” I have been surrounded by dynamic high performers, most of them women, who are over 50 for most of my life. My great-grandmother worked past retirement. My grandparents, all four of them, were just constantly going well over 50. My mother was still all but running a county office in my home county when she was past 70. In the workplace, the reporters at newspapers where I worked who were over 60 had the best stories (OH, what stories) and could get people to talk to them for stories who had turned others away. Same with nurses over 50. I never thought younger teachers were smarter than older teachers – it certainly has not been my experience in 18 years of grade school, four years of undergrad and three years of a Master’s program.
Yet, in the workplace in particular, I have repeatedly heard people under 40 say dismissive, degrading things about our older co-workers, to the point that I’ve had to call them out. When I was also under 40, they were always startled at my defense of older co-workers, and would usually back off. But now that I’m over 50, when I have said something, they have either rolled their eyes (yes, really) or looked across the room at another younger co-worker as if to say, “Oh, no, I hurt grandma’s feelings.”
Yes, I have limitations because of my age: I can’t work all night on a project and show up the next day to present about it anymore. I can’t drive at night anymore unless the street is VERY well lit. I’m not fond of steps. When the meeting leader says, “Does anyone need a break?” I now say “Yes!” immediately, instead of, “I’m fine – let’s work through this and quit early.” I no longer think that I really can do anything.
But, also because of my age, I also think systemically now, and holistically, when I’m approaching a work project, in a way I never did, never could have, in my 30s or younger. I see all the pieces, not just my own. I think much more about what’s going to happen after we launch something new at work and how it’s going to be sustained and how we’re going to measure success, not just how we’re going to meet the deadline of the launch. I can often see challenges that will come in weeks or months that others never thought about, and things we can do right now, before launch, to mitigate risks.
Because of my generation’s experience – Generation X – I adapt. I don’t insist the office change my laptop and software because it’s not what I’m used to using. I do a great deal with very limited resources. I also don’t expect job security.
And I’m childless and don’t have parental care obligations.
Altogether, my age and situation makes me an ideal employee – and that doesn’t even get into my deep, diverse professional experience.
The hardest part about forced retirement, for me, hasn’t been the finances, though that has been a big, big challenge, especially recently. The far greater challenge has been that I still have so, so much to give professionally. Hiring managers just see the age and imagined limitations—they don’t see the abilities and energy. And having worked with plenty of 30-somethings lately, I know I’m still a super-producer, and most folks, including them, can’t keep up with my productivity levels.
Arrogant? Maybe. But it’s the truth. At so many jobs, I’ve had to slow down to let everyone else catch up. Not always: not in Ukraine, where everyone was firing on all cylinders to face the urgent job needing done. Not in professional theater and not in newspapers, where I was the one frantically trying to keep up with everyone else. But beyond those experiences, most definitely. I even had a boss ask me to slow down, because I was making my younger co-workers feel bad.
I’ve tried to treat managing my web sites, participating in online communities, writing my blogs and even looking for a job as though it’s my job. I’ve also found lots of personal projects to tackle, like tracing my family tree. And it’s worked in giving me some challenges and pushing me to learn new things, like video editing, a self-taught skill I’m very proud of.
I see struggles at nonprofits or government agencies and I start to form a strategy on how I would address those challenges – I’m never short on ideas. I’m still so far ahead of most of the younger people I encounter when it comes to using online technologies to promote, to connect and engage.
I have tried to remake myself so many times… I’ve tried to remake myself as someone who could work in consulting for tourism for development, or working in initiatives related to public health, public lands, state tourism, or teaching at a university. I looked into radio – and discovered there are no radio stations near me at all. I even dabbled into trying to get the attention of anyone working in marketing for motorcycles or outdoor gear. None of those attempts have worked.
I’ve run out of steam. I’m tired of pretending I’m working. I’m tired of working hard on a project, launching it, building a little social media campaign around it, and getting silence in response. I’m tired of not being able to subscribe to things or attend things because I don’t have the money.
I’m tired of writing cover letters. I just want to write, Hire me, or don’t. Just don’t waste my time.
I did a lot of amazing things at my last few paid jobs. I also put out a lot of small brush fires before they became infernos. But nothing I did then has been enough for now.
I say it again: if you love your job right now, cherish it, do all you can to keep it, especially if you are over 45, especially if you are a woman.
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